Unforgiveness and Your Health I’ve had the chance to think about unforgiveness and health. Yes, a relationship was bumpy, and I found myself harboring hurt feelings. We all know about the connection with negative emotions and heart disease. Ex: Anger makes high blood pressure worse. The truth is: Unforgiveness just might kill you faster than Hepatitis C, liver disease, or heart disease, or cancer. Like cancer, it spreads and create cellular changes in your body. Carrying a grudge or holding in anger causes damage to everyone, especially for a person who has liver disease.
Letting Go of Unforgiveness
First, look for signs that we are holding a grudge. If so, we can check out our attitude and see what keeps us from forgiving them. Then, we begin the process of forgiveness, because it is a process. We don’t just forgive a person once and never think about it again. We have to keep forgiving every time the situation comes back up.
We may think of ourselves as a loving person. I certainly do. There is no room in my heart for judging others. If someone is having a hard time, I would do anything for them. But recently, I have been going through a situation with a person who has hurt me. I have searched my heart in an attempt to understand their attitude. I have asked them if there was anything I needed to do to make amends, but I kind of get brushed off. Everything seems fine on the surface, but underneath it all, there is stress between us.
Signs of unforgiveness. We may not recognize it as a lack of forgiveness to start with. Maybe there is some tension between you and another person. It could just be a difference in opinion. You do not see things eye to eye. So you agree to disagree. But the relationship lacks warmth. You remember when things were smoother between you. Before long, you notice that you do not look forward to seeing them. It only seems to magnify the tension that you feel.
The next thing you know, there are imaginary conversations taking place in your head. You are explaining your view point. You are on the defense. But it’s more than that. You can feel your blood pressure rise. A headache may come on. The muscles in your neck feel stiff and hard. Pretty soon, your conversation takes a harsher tone as you begin to criticize them in your mind. When you try to talk about it, your voice goes flat. Your feelings may become numb. However, if you talk about it for very long, the pitch in your voice gets higher and you talk faster. Anger is setting in. You begin to wonder how you ended up angry with them.
Then it hits you: I am holding a grudge. My heart is full of unforgiveness.
In some cases, you may have had a full blown fall out with someone in your life. A stand-off took place. Angry words were exchanged. People lined up and took sides. Then the door to communication was closed leaving you wondering how everything went so wrong.
Is Unforgiveness Hurting Your Health?
- Your parents did not give you the love that you deserved. They did not support your gifts or your dreams. They may have withheld the love you needed.
- Your spouse never seems to see things from your view point. They only think of how life affects them. Feelings of being unloved or neglected may arise in you.
- Your friend, sibling, boss, co-worker did or said something to hurt you. Maybe they took sides against you with someone else. Perhaps they took something that belonged to you. It may have been something tangible like an item or money. It may be that their actions stole your trust or damaged your sense of pride.
- You never got treated as well as your brother or sister did. Or maybe you feel even now that you are an outsider in your own family, or may have been abused.
- Someone at work, church, or a social setting may talk mean about you or to you. You know that something has been said and may have defended yourself. You may have withdrew to keep from getting hurt further.
- Someone has blamed you for the decision you have made. They bring up a list of your shortcomings all the time in your presence or behind your back.
- You have been accused of doing something that you either did not mean to do or that you could not help at the time. It may be your caregiver or a family member. Check out My Family Doesn’t Understand Hepatitis C.
What keeps you from forgiving?
Right or Wrong Thinking – A huge obstacle to forgiving others is that we make a judgment about who is right or wrong. Most of the time, we feel they are wrong or we would’t be holding anger in our hearts in the first place. We rarely go out looking for someone to be angry with. It is usually a defense mechanism to protect ourselves.
Learning to forgive – You may have tried to forgive, but the situation keeps on going or the memories are stuck in your mind. Learning to forgive, and forgive again, is a process. Just as with any negative thought patterns or emotions, you alone hold the key to freedom from anger and hurt feelings. That is because it is not really about them. It is about you. No one is forcing you to stay angry. Even if they were wrong, YOU are the one holding in the anger and pain. They move on and watch as your life becomes swirled in that awful cycle of unforgiveness. You can begin to use prayer and relaxation techniques. That can help to overcome negative thought patterns. But many times it goes deeper than that.
Feelings of anger – Forgiving someone is not easy. We have to let go of our anger against the ones who hurt us. It may feel like we are giving in. We do not want to lose control. But we never really could control how the other person acted anyway. It is causing us more harm than it is them.
Lack of forgiveness is a weapon that’s carried by the blade It does not hurt the other person as much as it hurts YOU.
Roadblocks to forgiveness
Giving them a free ride. When we quit listening to our inner self talk about how they did us wrong, we think we are letting them off the hook. Actually, the opposite is true. What you are doing is letting YOURSELF off the hook of holding in a lifetime of frustration and regret.
We want revenge – It sounds sweet. We picture the other person’s life falling apart. We imagine that they get what they deserve, and are punished for what they did. The problem with that big fat lie is that it can have a boomerang effect. If we adopt a pattern of thinking that if a person has done wrong and should be punished, our brain will accept that as truth.
Then the next time WE do something wrong, our psyche wants to punish US. This sounds complicated, but believing that those who have made a mistake deserve punishment will begin to apply to all areas of our lives. Our brain will think it is true for everyone – all the time – including ourselves.
It’s too late to apologize – Those are great song lyrics, and can have a place in our lives when we draw a boundary. What I am talking about here is the way we wait or even daydream about them coming to us and telling us how sorry they were. Waiting for an apology is a tactic that does not work.
In the End
My daddy drank a lot and created more than a few problems in our home when I was young. At age 18, I realized that my heart was filled with anger and unforgiveness. I drove all the way to Kansas to tell my daddy that he was forgiven. He was drunk and told me that he didn’t need forgiving. He said that he had always loved me and nothing needed to be forgiven.
I drove all the way home thinking. What I decided was that it didn’t matter if he received my forgiveness or even felt bad. Our forgiveness does not depend on someone else’s repentance. I was free of the burden of my anger. That is what mattered.
Over the years, I forgave him again and again when it came to mind. It was a long process. Eventually, his liver failed and he quit drinking. Our relationship was restored, he finally apologized and made amends during my adult life. I have always secretly felt that my step in forgiving was the beginning of that process. I know that it changed me and allowed me to be free of the past.
That story is what I understand of forgiveness in a nutshell.
- It is an act of my will and not based on feelings.
- It does not matter if the other person acknowledges it.
- It may have to be repeated daily – sometimes for years.
I began this blog during the holidays while dealing with my own lack of forgiveness. I work on it. Best Friends understand that some things are in the process. I am publishing this as is. We’re doing this together aren’t we?
I love you with all my heart. Xo Karen:)
Do you have feelings of anger and know that you are holding a grudge?
What is stopping you from forgiving?
Are you willing to think about letting go of the hurt?
Will you continue to forgive even if it is not received by the other person?
Are you aware of how unforgiveness and your health are closely related?
26 thoughts on “Unforgiveness and Your Health”
Hi Karen
Forgiveness an ongoing process and probably so for somethings especially if you are still needing to do deal with the person. Or is it I forgive myself for being so foolish or gullible or a push over, when I should not have been. I had a dysfunctional family when I was growing up and I know that is what provided me with a low self-esteem.
Probably the hardest person to forgive is ourselves, as we expect better from ourselves than we do anybody else. I am no longer angry and most of it is remembering without emotion now.
When many things are uncertain and not resolved it can be hard to get over the trouble someone has caused you, even if most of the time it is forgotten and buried. I just try to look at all of things that transpire are for a reason and if things are not as I planned, maybe my plans were not what I was meant to do.
But I agree I think you need to constantly forgive yourself in order to forgive others.
Mary
Mary Stephenson recently posted…The Principle of Ethics
Mary,
I am always blessed to see you on the blog. You are growing and changing in so many ways. Look at how your blogging has grown!
You know, when we have a dysfunctional background, it is hard to figure out what healthy boundaries are. It seems like I have spent my whole life learning about that. I still have a lot to learn. Letting go of the emotional content is good. That allows us to look at it with clearer understanding. Then we can make better choices about how to resolve something.
I can tell by your words that you have worked in this area. Like I told Adrienne, we can always grow through these situations and it is obvious that you have. Knowing that a situation happened for a reason and then deciding how to do the inner forgiveness work is a great step! That could be a whole blog in itself.
Thank you for the feedback. When people comment, it helps me to know that I am on track with my topics and it’s not just me dealing with some things like forgiveness.
I hope your year brings continued success in every area!
xoxo Karen
Wow Karen,
First I want to say that my heart goes out to you because I’ve been in your shoes. The other person takes no responsibility for the issues and/or problems that are causing a rif in your friendship/relationship.
It’s been a very long time now that I was so angry about something that someone did to me that I had to go and buy a book on learning how to forgive. It was a huge awakening for me at that time and I did learn that it wasn’t about approving of what they did or how they treated me but that I couldn’t live with that anger any longer because it did no one any good at all.
I also learned that 99.9% of the time while we’re fuming over here thinking and worrying about what’s going on they’ve moved on with their thoughts and actions and haven’t given us another thought. Here we are disrupting our lives and for what.
I ended every single one of those relationships my friend when they treated me that way. I did everything in my power to resolve the issues between us but when they either felt it wasn’t their fault, they had no apologies or like your Dad said he’s done nothing wrong then I knew it was time for me to cut the ties and move on. Do you know that I never looked back and it didn’t bother me one time! They tried to talk me into continuing the relationships but of course it was always on their terms and I wasn’t willing to be used any longer.
I hope that whatever is taking place right now you’ll either get it resolved soon or learn how to move on. The only advice I can give you is you deserve the best and to be respected and if you’re not getting it then you need to move on.
~Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted…How To Lose Customers Fast
Adrienne,
You are right! When we realize that the other person has probably not given it a second thought, we realize that the only smart solution is to let it go and forgive. The work actually takes place in our heart and mind. We’re a lot alike. When we hit a snag, we try and learn about it. Like you, I read a LOT about forgiveness. It’s more complex than we think.
I see the wisdom in your response and it makes me think of something else… We grow when we learn how to forgive. It adds valuable tools to our life lesson tool kit. When the next situation comes up that requires forgiveness, we know what to do. That doesn’t always make it easier, but it sure does make it less complicated. It also speeds up our time in recovering from anger. We don’t move into holding a grudge.
Now you are talking about boundaries. I’m with you that there are times to end the relationship. We have to put some distance between ourselves and people who suck the life out of us. With my dad, it was worth the work to repair of course. My entire family reaped the benefits for years. He was also contrite and made amends for decades. That is always the best scenario for families. But if it doesn’t work – Get Out! lol. I’ve done it too.
I’ve already seen changes in myself toward the other person that I am currently dealing with. It’s a chance to grow and look at why I let it upset me. Why does their opinion matter. Most importantly, why am I judging them for it. Clearly I have some work to do. haha!
I love you my friend and hope that your year is going to bring you many opportunities to experience growth in the areas that you desire. You’re such a guru. When you learn something, you always share with your readers. Thanks again for that.
xo Karen:)
A beautiful and confronting reminder Karen. When health is so compromised, and I’m trying so hard to hold on, it’s easy to forget that letting go is also so important. I have read this piece several times and am still getting wisdom from between your lines. Thank you. X
Brigitte Staples recently posted…Sardines Marinated with Rosemary
Brigitte,
So good to see you again! I am really pleased that you like it. Sometimes we write from the heart while working on being well. It helped me to write it out. I’m laughing because I too reread it for insight into my own heart.
Much love and thanks to you always. I hope you are well and will be over to check out your new recipes!
xo Karen:)
Hi Karen and everyone else,
I think you have chosen a fantastic topic on this blog. I was going to comment on how important it is to forgive yourself as well as others, lo and behold Mary has made the point perfectly. Will I ever be able to forgive Mary for stealing my thunder. (Joke)
I have walked in those uncomfortable shoes of hurt, betrayal, loss, rejection and the confusion that having beautiful children in the mix can bring.
I have always considered myself forgiving and have in both occasions immediately looked within to see how I inadvertently played my part in the “takes to to Tango” dance.
Currently I feel like a fish that has been dragged into a boat and dipped in the water just to keep it alive before being jerked back into the boat. This is because I will never stop loving my ex partner and best friend of 25 years whilst she has spent the the last three years toing and froing about reconciliation. We sustained our friendship during this time and I accepted that she was unable to make the final call regarding our romance. At the same time she able to make late night intoxicated phone calls about her love for me, or even troubles with new partners.. I accepted last second requests to have the kids when she had a date or party to attend. It seemed I was the only friend capable of providing practical help, mechanical breakdown, child transport when she was intoxicated, taxi service when she lost her license for a third time. The hurt I saw on my childrens faces when she let them down.
Looks like I’m on a grudge roll! She has refused to acknowledge my state of health. I’m simply lazy. She has bad mouthed me and my inability to work to justify her own failings to her friends and family instead. Just after christmas she called to apologize and offer some support in return. The next day she told me I was a manipulative xxxx and I’ve been trying to make her hate for three years.
I’ve never punched a person but have been severely beaten up. It hurt less.
The point is I still have an open, loving heart to her and came to her rescue – no car after drunken night with another lover – but she had to go to a horse trail ride as it was our daughters birthday present from her.
All in all the point is I obviously needed to get that off my chest.
But the one I intended to make is that I practiced forgiveness only to have it thrown back in my face. I was beginning to question the power of forgiveness until some asked me if I had forgiven myself. I am still pondering the answer but realized I was angry at myself for being a doormat – in front of my son – for not setting boundaries, and as you have all mentioned failing to recognize that she was enjoying her life while mine shrank.
I still love her and my heart goes out when I see her tear stained face. For her own, actually my own, and my children’s sake I wish her every happiness and find it easy to let go of resentment to her. Even after years of psychological pain. But I really am starting to see that I shifted my pain to me instead of letting it go.
If you knew me personally you would know that I am not a bitter person nor am I a misogynist. I am under no illusion that I played zero part in a broken relationship and I don’t want to come across as a finger pointing victim.
This post is a lot longer than I intended and has been cathartic so thanks Karen.
LIVE, LOVE,LAUGH AND BE HAPPY,
WHAT IF I’VE BEEN BLUE?
NOW I’M WALKING THROUGH FIELDS OF FLOWERS….
I’m trying my best anyway…
FORGIVE EVERYONE INCLUDING YOURSELF.
SET YOUR SPIRIT FREE
OPEN YOUR HEART
LET THE CHILDREN PLAY
TAKE IT AS IT COMES
SPECIALIZE IN HAVING FUN
Guido,
There is so much I love to say to you! You are a shining star my friend. I want to thank you for being transparent in a world where many people try to hide their struggles and pain. It is by reaching out with our words that healing begins. Your words plant many seeds my friend.
This post on unforgiveness is really painful to read as it was hard to write also. So much emotion gets buried down and we do not acknowledge our pain. You do not come across as pointing fingers or a victim. Your love shines through. It is important to draw a boundary with those who hurt us. But now always easy when children are involved.
Again, so much to say.. But I can hear you reaching inside and finding new areas of pain to let go off. Most importantly, I hear your strength as you resolve to love YOU and allow that love to shine on your children. They can see it. Your love is healing to them. They are watching your battle. My admiration for my daddy was boundless. He was not perfect, but oh how he loved us in the best way he knew how. His love surrounds me every day.
My heart is reaching across the ocean to you. I have to smile knowing that you are such a strong warrior for what is right. And a hero to your loved ones. Yes.
xoxo Karen:)
Hello Dear Karen.
I hope one day we get to sit down and talk. You are so wise.
Joe,
This makes me think of that song I am Woman! “Yes, I am wise, but it’s wisdom born of pain.” Haha! It would be a joy to sit down and share some time with you dear one. We’re in this together, right? xoxo Karen:)
All of you who have posted have put into words what all of us feel, including me. It seems to consume our lives in so many ways when our feelings are hurt. It took me a long time,too. My new thought process is to” let it go “. I tend to overthink things & then wonder why.Now I even clean out my closet & say ” let it go ” , which seem to make it easier…lol. My thanks to everone for helping me to understand my own feelings. Healing is an ongoing process & I’m working on it…
🙂 Pat
Pat,
What a wonderful comment. Yes, so many contribute their personal stories and lift each other up. It’s like we can read one another’s heart, yes? We all have different experiences, but are looking for, and giving, love and forgiveness.
“Let it go” is one of my favorite phrases. I think it is on the blog here somewhere from the movie Out of Africa.
Now every time I say it to myself – or out loud – I’ll think of you dear Pat. On behalf of all of the Best Friends here, I say a heartfelt thank YOU. I’m glad you found the words you needed. Your words have made my day for sure.
xoxo Healing together,
Karen:)
I want to print his article of Karen but the translation has messed my printer
Jenny,
Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Do you mean that it prints in a different language? I was unaware of any glitches caused by translator. I’m going to disable it right now and see if it works better for you.
Will you let me know if it prints right? This has been a good plug in for those in other countries, but if it doesn’t work right I am glad you pointed it out to me.
I hope your day is awesome and can’t wait to hear how it works.
All my best to you and I am happy you enjoyed the article.
Healthy and healing,
xo Karen:)
Hi Karen,
Wow… Excellent! A wonderful message being delivered here 🙂 An eye opener for many!
I guess rather than talking about the forgiveness and post itself, it’s best to talk about my own experiences. May I? 😉 (I heard you sayin’ “YES” ;))
As I read through your writing, I looked at my own life. My life resonates exactly with some lines you have mentioned in the post and relates to people who close to my life. Sometimes I’m grateful for such experiences, ’cause they made me a better and sensitive person with different perspectives toward the life and taught me to put myself in others’ shoes 🙂
As a kid, it was really hard for me to forgive and anger was hidden deep inside of me dear. I don’t like raising my voice on elders, even they are wrong, so I used to be the one to take blame always. Anyway, I used to that and forgot ’em soon. Some incidents have affected tremendously though 🙂 Hence, yet I’m far away from such relationships eventhough I hold no anger towards ’em.
I think the hardest part is forgiving people who we trusted so much. Isn’t it? 🙂
So far, I could forgive people soon (Not instantly) and kept myself away from ’em as much as I can. What really bothered me is when they still trying to come at me, Karen. Sometimes I allowed them in again, hoping they have changed. But I was wrong and had to let them go even with unhappy endings.
Few days back, I had to do the same for the closest person whom I shared my life with. I’m terrible at that, so I was almost vulnerable for about last 2 – 3 months 🙂
Yet I believe that everything gone worse made me the person who I am today 🙂 When we forgive and it stays in that way, that’s such a relief. I’m feeling it right now.
I believe you almost overcame the lack of forgiveness you have been talking about, my friend 🙂 Considering the obstacles you have come across, this isn’t a thing at all. You are best at it with all your positivity and courageousness around.
May your heart filled with love and unforgiveness 🙂 Remember, You are the BEST!
You have a lovely weekend Karen 🙂
Cheers…
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Mayura,
My dear friend! Such a lovely comment and it got lost. Some spam slipped through commentluv. All cleaned up now! And here you are with your kind words once again. I DID get my mailchimp fixed, but still have more to do. Your support with twitter was so sweet. xo
I love the way that you approach life. Your philosophy is right on! Yes, our pain is what can bring out our better side, or our bitter side. I can see that you have chosen to let go of anger and live a better life as a result of such situations.
We are alike in that we keep hoping that it will get better and we can trust again. If we try too soon, our own pain is not resolved. That can keep us from seeing the truth and perhaps removing ourselves from the situation entirely! Vulnerability is what keep us with an open and loving heart. We have to be wise though, don’t we?
Do you know I believe you when you say I am the BEST? You are very much an encourager in life and your words do have power to build others up. I’m lol now, because that means YOU are the best dear friend. Haha!
Now you see love in action between 2 friends,
Bless you always always Mayura,
xo Karen:)
Karen,
What a beautiful ode to forgiveness you have written here. There are so many things I would like to say in regards to your lovely thoughts but I will try to keep them to a minimum=)
First, the quote you mentioned above about the weak not being able to forgive is such a powerful mindset. This is so true and time and time again we have to remind ourselves that it takes a certain kind of strength from deep within to be able to forgive. Forgiveness is what empowers people to feel better not only about themselves, but it also enables them to move forward with their lives. More people should be inclined to do so because acts such as these would make the world a better place. If we can’t forgive, then we live in anger and resentment. These feelings are destructive toward our growth and self-awareness as human beings.
I love how you said that when you were able to forgive your dad, you weren’t doing it to please him… you were doing it for yourself! How inspiring is this?! My mother and I were just talking about how my step-father still has not forgiven her for some of the mistakes she has made and has been paying for them; truly. She was never a bad person; the alcohol which once controlled her mind also controlled a lot of her decisions… sadly. But my father must learn that to forgive is one of the most beautiful things we, as human beings, can do for one another. After all, it is what our Heavenly Father has taught us to do by demonstrating his own acts of forgiveness. And if God can forgive the weakest and most degrading of men, then we should be able to as well.
You are a gift to the world, Karen. I’m so happy to have met you and will be looking forward to more of your incredible thoughts.
Gina Stoneheart recently posted…Fruit Stands, Cheese Steaks, and Snow Crystals
Gina,
Great to see your comment this morning. I am so blessed at your joy in growing through your sobriety.
Forgiveness and self awareness are all key to helping up grow and move toward a more peaceful life. As you well know, it is a process. What touches me the most while reading your comment this morning is the love that you have for your mother. You didn’t judge her through her drinking years. You stood by her with her transplant. She is so blessed to have a loving daughter like you.
Perhaps the reason you have been so successful at it because you see the person, not the alcohol, or any other behavior. Those are just outer manifestations of inner turmoil. I’m truly glad we met also. My work has been so time consuming lately. We’ll get acquainted more and more. Thank God for social networks! Haha! Have a blessed day dear one.
xo Karen:)
Thank you Karen for sharing your story and and your valuable insights on unforgiveness. We all experience it, often just for a short term. But other times, it hangs over us like a dark cloud for years. I especially like your observation “A huge obstacle to forgiving others is that we make a judgment about who is right or wrong.” That is true.
Brent Peterson recently posted…15 Inspiring Facts About Russell Wilson
Brent,
I’m so glad you stopped by. I know that you inspire others in their journey and have probably seen anger and unforgiveness and the pain it can cause. No one wins in the long run, that is for sure.
Thank you!
Karen:)
Hi Karen,
I can relate to the negative conversations that take place in our minds as you mentioned. For years that’s what filled my mind and so much time was wasted feeling angry.
I admire your step in forgiving your father at such a young age. I don’t think I would have been that mature during those years.
With my interest in alternative health, I totally agree that unforgiveness and anger affect our health. In fact, holding on to anger is one of the main sources of poor health. It has such a detrimental effect on our bodies.
Yolanda DeLoach recently posted…Is Fear Keeping You Vanilla?
Yolanda,
I’ve had a few of those conversations also. It’s amazing how we live so much in our head, but rarely get down to listen to ourselves at the root of the problem. I think that my own pain is what caused me to work toward forgiveness. Once I DID listen, there was no going back. That one experience changed my life forever.
Isn’t it cool to keep growing and adding more wisdom to our decision making? That’s what forgiveness is – deciding to drop our anger. You are absolutely right about the health part. I didn’t go into much detail on the blog, but there is so much evidence to back that up.
For sure you are in a healthy mindset and are living the best time of your life right now. I’m so happy for you on your adventures!
All my best to you,
xo Karen:)
Hi Karen,
I could not agree with you more. All of these negative emotions are the results of many diseases we inhabit today. That’s probably why the bible state the verse: “Be angry but do not sin…do not let the sun go down upon thy wrath.” Being angry is not a sin but holding grudges and unforgiveness feeling *is* bad for you. The bible made sense. God wants us to be healthy.
There is another saying, “The one who hates suffers the most.” That’s so very true. Coz the one who is being hated doesn’t care. Or doesn’t give a hoot. You can hate him all you want but it will not affect him but YOU. Your feeling inside will eat you up and pretty soon it will break down in your body…causing all kinds of diseases: high blood pressure, cancer, ulcer, you name it.
Unforgiveness lowers your immune system. Check out what I wrote here:
http://healthmatters.info/unexpressed-anger-can-cause-cancer-2
My dad beat up my mom all his life. All those years through their marriage it was always “conflict” and there was hardly peace. I was rejected by my dad since day one coz he thinks that my mom cheated on him and I was that result of that…but it wasn’t true. Dad knew my mom have been faithful to him and if he takes blood test, my mom could prove that I was his.
I could have hated my dad all my life. I could’ve hold grudges for the longest time, coz you know I’m pretty good at doing THAT. However, when I read so many self-help books…I realize it was only ME that was punishing myself. I HAD TO LET GO…
Thank you for such a moving post. As always, you always touch many hearts. Thank you for sharing this wonderful insight. I hope you have a beautiful weekend.
Angela
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Angela,
I can see that we think a lot alike in so many areas. I can’t wait to check out your blog on anger. I started to say that it was surprising to hear about your family background. But on second thought, I believe that every family has hardships and relationship problems that have to be worked thought.
I will say that I am so sorry you had to go through that. You are the kind of woman who continues to work on healing and growth in spirit, mind, and body. That is one of the reasons that you have been successful in overcoming some of the past pain in your life. Honestly, those of us who have felt the sadness that goes with family problems sometimes end up being stronger people for it. Compassion is also learned while overcoming anger and unforgiveness.
I am happy to have a compassionate friend like you. By reading and learning how to let go, the true beauty of your spirit is what shines through.
Love you girl,
xo Karen:)
An interesting post and obviously written from the heart. I myself try to let things go when someone upsets me for my own sake and because life is far too short. I am trying to instil this into my children too.
Being angry with someone is exhausting and it is only when we forgive a person that we can truly move on. We don’t have to let that person back into our lives in the same capacity, but by trying to understand the reasons why they hurt us and then forgiving them we let go of the hurt and anger and get on with our lives.
Debbie recently posted…Don’t Play The Blame Game
Debbie,
Thanks so much for stopping by! You’re right, anger and unforgiveness can wear you out. The you don’t have enough energy for the positive things in life. I’m happy to hear you are teaching your kiddos that as well.
You’re right on about setting the boundary though. Knowing which catagory to put your relationships into is really important. Forgive and forget, but move on when you need to for sure!
Thanks again and have an awesome weekend!
xo Karen:)
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