The Benefits of Solitude and Self Care

The Benefits of Solitude and Self Care – 

We all lead busy lives. That busyness can be a good thing. Planning for the future, starting a new project, or just living your daily life are really positive things that bring us a lot of enjoyment. However, some of our busyness can drain us physically and mentally.  We all have a lot to take care of and whatever doesn’t get done today is shoved off until tomorrow. The end result is that we often neglect taking care of ourselves. It requires some time alone, which is often hard to get! I’ve been thinking about the benefits of solitude and self care and wanted to share them with you.

I teach a unit on Henry David Thoreau every fall and he never fails to change my life.  He was determined to make the most of his days in spite of health problems.  His writings introduced me to the importance of solitude in self care. He has reached millions of people with the message of freedom, uniting with nature, and listening to your inner voice.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” HDT

My favorite  of all of the benefits of solitude and self care are:

Taking better care of yourself physically – It is important to look at how well you have been feeding your body. You know that your life is too busy when you cannot remember what you ate that day. Every day, I reflect on how many grams of protein, sugars, and complex carbohydrates I ate. If I eat wrong, there is immediate feedback with lethargy, ascites, body aches, and brain fog.

“Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!” HDT

Staying focused on your goals – When you lose sight of the long term goals that you are working on, it changes your day to day decisions. Living with cirrhosis can be complex and discouraging. Keep it simple. Planning for your future can help you be more optimistic. I keep an image of myself growing old and enjoying my family and friends for years to come. This helps me to do all of the little things like eating well, exercising, and watching over my thought patterns. Staying positive and taking some time for self care is a great way to insure that you can achieve the goals you have set.

Listening to yourself -When we have too many interruptions in our day to day life, it is hard to concentrate on our own thoughts. The voices of family, friends, television, or even the computer bring a constant barrage of ideas. But when those voices drown out our own thoughts, we can get pulled into too many directions. By taking some time for solitude, we can tune in to ourselves. Simply listening to our own thoughts and perhaps writing them down can give us clues into what needs our attention.

Hit the refresh button – Have you ever had your computer freeze up? The page will be showing on your screen, but if too many programs are running in the background – it freezes. We are like that. We are showing up for life, but if there are too many things going on we can find ourselves frozen. If we hit the refresh button, the page reloads and reconnects the server. Voila! The page starts fresh and everything is working again! We need to reconnect with ourselves in order to stay updated.

Here are just a few ways you can hit your refresh button:

Unplug from others – It may sound selfish at first. Your family and friends may resist your “self care time”. Parents don’t always have the luxury of unplugging from their kiddos. Consider asking your spouse, a grandparent, a friend, or even a babysitter to give you a break. There is always that time after they are in bed to take for yourself, but many times you use that time to finish chores or simply fall asleep. I am a morning person and always rose an hour before my family to savor a cup of coffee in my favorite chair. It continues to be my best hour of the day.

For those of us who work full time, a job requires that we give our best during an 8 or 10 hour day. Taking some time during your lunch to sit quietly alone can help you to feel centered and more focused. Get away from your desk if you need to. Walk around the parking lot or do like me and turn off the light and lock the door. That’s one way to insure that you have some time to do some deep breathing or just simply relax.

“I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” HDT

Shut the door – Have a place in your home where you can have a room to yourself. Make some time where you shut the door and block everything out. I have always had a special chair where I do this. Sitting next to the chair is a basket of books that are filled with quotes or inspiration. I keep a journal and a pen nearby also. It is a delicious place where I retreat from the world. There are days when I can sit for an hour or more. Sometimes, it is only 15 minutes. No matter how much time, it is easy for me to settle in and listen for good thoughts and ideas.

Shutting the door is a family tradition. My grandma had her chair where she sat quietly and crocheted. My daughter has her space in her home and when she announces that she is having a “Quiet Time”, and my granddaughters know to leave mama alone. What is especially sweet to me is that the girls each have a space in their room and retreat to their own solitude. They journal, read, or draw without interruption. They even have a Do Not Disturb sign that hangs on the door knob. We could all use a version of that! Maybe you can plug in a movie for the kiddos or set up a video game. 

Schedule a retreat – One luxury I have afforded myself for many years is a mini-vacation from everything and everybody. While on HCV treatment, I’ll admit that I was afraid to be alone. My thoughts of death have been pretty powerful. I had to be wise and make sure that medical attention was nearby. That is still true, but now that I am past the big crisis and living with chronic liver disease, I am ready for retreat again.

I have done a variety of retreats over the years. You can find one to fit your budget. Sometimes it was at a hotel where I could order room service and take long walks on the beach, or relax with a journal by the pool. Other times it was a rustic cabin in a state park. I know one lady who does house sitting for a friend who travels. It is her retreat time. I’ve stayed in convents in Europe and tents in the mountains. The place is not as important as the goal of solitude and self care.  

The only requirement on retreat is that I have at least 24 hours of uninterrupted peace and solitude. If you can stay longer, it is even better! I learned that it takes me a couple of days just to settle in and wash away the busyness and cares of the world.

 Henry David Thoreau suffered some setbacks in his life. His teaching career never took off. His brother died in his arms. He lived passionately even while battling with the effects of tuberculosis. His works have always inspired me to listen to my own voice. He understood the need for solitude and went to live alone on Ralph Waldo Emerson’s property for a couple of years. There, he began a book titled Walden Pond.  

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Henry David Thoreau

This week I am taking a few days and going into the woods. I won’t stay for a couple of years like Thoreau did. I’m happy to have 3 days! I have found the perfect spot. There is no access to internet or technology. I have someone who will check on me to make sure that I am physically okay.  

I’ve got paper, pens, and protein shakes. I have a plan to ponder the purpose of life.

I don’t always feel good. I know that is true for many of my best friends. We have to be deliberate about our lives. We don’t want to pass from this life and found out that we had never truly lived.

I’ve been battling fatigue. I can’t dwell on it or I would end up in bed all day. I am alive today. I am taking care of myself and encouraging you to do the same. 

Let’s live the life we had imagined.   With all my Xoxo Karen:)

Dealing with stress is hard and being sick makes it worse. Check this blog on anxiety sweet love. Maybe it will do you good until YOU can get out on a retreat! Click Here

What is the best way for you to find the benefits of solitude and self care? Will you be deliberate in making time for yourself?

pics via toddhansinkblogspot,