On The Edge of a Smile

On The Edge of a Smile

ihelpc.com on the edge of a smile mona lisa liver cirrhosis
Mona Lisa Smile

When it comes to the year end, there are a lot of  ways to look at things. Sometimes, I look at it from the Merry Christmas! side of life. Trees, lights, food and music are involved. Other times it’s all about the Happy New Year! side of life with endings and beginnings. No matter how I approach it, emotions are always strong. I’m a listener. When my heart speaks, my mind slows down. It looks like stillness, but emotionally feels like…. Everything.

Our emotions can range from quiet desperation to peals of laughter. The evidence of our inner thought life are not always easy to detect. Elle, my youngest “grand” was with me in a very tense moment recently. We were exchanging glances, reassuring each other that all was well. (somehow, eye contact with someone who understands, makes everything tolerable)

Anyhoo, she leaned in and whispered, “You always look like you’re getting ready to smile really big”.

On the edge of a smile.

That particular day, I had a lot of concerns. Some were about her and her sis. We always worry about our kids. A work situation was running in the background for my dh. I was figiting with back pain. While my mind needled around all of those things, outwardly I managed to look, well – I looked smiley.

December is somehow a good month to represent that moment when we are on the edge of a smile. As adults, we laugh at the whole Santa thing. Yet deep inside, we remember a slice of innocent joy from our own childhood. The image of a baby in a hay strewn food trough in a barn may stir up an ancient and deeply held faith. Then, at midnight on the last day of the year, a miracle occurs on the calendar – and in our hearts. Through the layers of December, we feel it all.

Awe, wonder, tenderness, comfort, laughter, joy, tranquility, generosity, lively, and silly.

Fatigue, distress, shut down, ashamed, tired, angry, defensive, hurt, alone, wronged, and ranting.

Is there a smile at the edge of your lips tonight?

On the Edge of a smile ihelpc.com peace holiday liver
That Grand

Expecting things to always feel good is nonsense. Somehow, my heart still looks for it. In every interaction, I hope to come away with peace. Situations need to “feel” right for me. I use prayer, meditation, and yoga to feel my way into a smile.

 

I’m smiling right now. Won’t you join me? Comfortable friends making eye contact through the internet. It works. I love you so very much. Xo Karen

 

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12 thoughts on “On The Edge of a Smile”

  1. Keep Smiling Karen…you are the face of HOPE for so many!
    Christmas Blessings today and always!

    1. First, Thanks for the sweet message. Good words are always welcome in our lives, aren’t they?

      I got hit by spam and it buried my inbox. Please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in response.

      Stay in touch and I hope you’re having an awesome year.
      xo Karen

    1. Dawn,

      Such a faithful friend. I got hit by spam and it buried my inbox. Please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in response. I’m always happy to see genuine comments. I had so many that were full of fake stuff. Sigh…

      Much much love,
      Karen

  2. Sheri Brockington

    Merry Christmas Karen! I am always excited about Christmas for some reason. It must be my innerchild. I hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
    I have a friend helping with my website so hopefully it’ll be up by the New Year.
    Sheri

    1. Sheri,

      I got hit by spam and it buried my inbox. Please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in response.

      Congratulations on your website and let me know how it is doing. It’s a lot of fun and I would love to come see it and also your products!

      xo Karen

  3. Hi Karen,

    It’s great to read your post. I was busy with my projects, that’s the reason I was inactive a bit, specially reading & commenting was completely off.

    But Anyways, Thanks for the interesting & informative read. Keep up the good work and enjoy the holidays.

    A Very Happy New Year Karen! Cheers

    ~ Donna

    1. Donna,

      I got hit by spam and it buried my inbox. Please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in response. It’s always always good to see that you’re still active and working with your website. Stay in touch.

      xo Karen

    1. I’m glad that it encourages you and hope that you will always stay in touch!!I got hit by spam and it buried my inbox. Please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in response.

      xo Karen

  4. Hi Karen. I just found your website and it is giving me so much hope. My dad was cured of hepatitis C last year but is in end stage cirrhosis. He has ascites, low energy, little appetite, sleeps a lot, varicose (I forget the exact name but you mentioned it), in pain and we’re all scared. My family is in Atlanta and I live in Vietnam. I have been so scared for the past two weeks. I am flying home in a few days and my goal is to get my dad strong in any way that I can. Thank you for your knowledge 🙏🏻

    1. I’m so happy that you get to come see your family. As you can see, I lived this way and with diuretics, good diet, and medication, I slowly got better over time. He needs to take his medication and he can live a peaceful life.

      Let me know how your visit goes and how your father is doing. xoxo Karen

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