I know: How to enrich conversations about everything. Deep and meaningful talk is how we connect with the humans in our life. Without honest and open communication with our family and friends, we can feel lonely, isolated, and misunderstood. Sadness can creep in. We don’t mean to cut off good conversations, but it happens. We wonder why. Sometimes it is because of the tone of voice, the posture, or the eye gaze of the person. Let’s talk about a simple phrase that can be a conversation killer.
We need our relationships to be strong, especially when we’re sick. Our caregivers and family deserve our best communication so they can help us heal. I know: How to enrich conversations about everything.
I Know Can Be a Killer
Someone comments on how great a song is and we say, “I know.” Silence follows.
You mention that a destination would be a fun trip and someone says, “I know.” Again, it can seem to be an agreement, but often, it is followed by silence.
What if the “I Know” is followed by eye contact. You look at each other and feel a sense of oneness, and even agreement. But the conversation rarely goes further.
My premise is that “I Know” is often like a period at the end of a sentence. It becomes punctuation that concludes a statement. It’s almost as if the thought is a done deal. We both agree, and silence falls.
I Know: How to Enrich Conversations About Everything
We began an experiment with the “I Know” phrase a few years ago. Instead of agreeing with each other, we let it become a conversation starter. It’s a very minor change that can make a huge difference in any conversation and relationship.
Your grandchild remarks about the beauty of a butterfly and your reply is an “I Know”. You both felt the magic of the moment. What if you had looked for a reply that could have been the beginning of a conversation with your grandchild. You might have responded with a question or comment regarding the color, or the feeding patterns, or the journey of the butterfly.
A friend expresses their concern over a health concern, or even a social issue that affects their life. Is the phrase “I Know” an appropriate response? Would an expression of concern help to cushion their personal feelings and help them feel less alone?
Suppose your partner comments on the color of a cloud pattern in the sunset. Now, I’ll admit, that sometimes it is enough to enjoy the silence of that moment. Simply nodding, agreeing, or meaningful touch can be an awe inspiring and truly intimate moment. It can be a deep and meaningful conversation in itself. However, when a comment is appropriate, it’s important to have some alternate phrases on the tip of your tongue.
Alternate Phrases
I think I understand what you mean.
I’m following what you’re saying.
Yes, I’ve thought the same thing.
Of course, I agree with what you’re saying.
Yes, I’ve heard the same news and thought about it a lot.
I agree.
I’m with you on that topic.
I understand.
I’ve heard about that.
You’re right.
There are always cases where a person is telling you news that you already knew. Even then, the tone of voice and posture can be warm and invite further conversation, or shut it down.
Listen and Speak with Love and Respect
Perhaps you rarely use this phrase and now feel quite triumphant that you are a worthy conversationalist. On the other hand, you might just now begin to perk your ears and stop the words before they come off your lips. Instead of the habitual “I Know”, you might be able to show agreement without sounding authoritative. In addition, you can begin to empathize by offering words of kindness, and thereby strengthen the bond between yourself and others.
If you’re an introvert, and use the power of “I Know” to create a bond, consider practicing some of the alternative phrases listed above. Give it some time, and see if you notice a difference in your relationships.
I Know: How to Enrich Conversations About Everything
The words we speak are actually the beginning of everything. All Love for You Always, xo Karen
