How to Help Someone with Hepatitis C

 How to Help Someone with Hepatitis C

A Thank You Message – I get a lot of messages from people who are caring for a husband, wife, mom, dad, friend or family member with Hepatitis C. They express their frustration regarding the emotional rollercoaster that they ride on daily while working to help their loved one deal with the diagnosis. They suffer right alongside the patient who is struggling to manage symptoms and side effects. They perform many selfless tasks from grocery shopping to buying medications. They clean and cook, tune out the complaining, and listen to the fears. They are our heroes. Over and over, many caregivers for Hepatitis C patients express to me their desire to help their loved one.

Caring for a loved one who has Hepatitis C can be a thankless job. When those of us who have the virus or are in treatment are doing our best to survive the barrage of symptoms and side effects, we are in a somewhat helpless state. We need you. Too often we do not say thank you enough. I have a dear online friend who is caring for a spouse who is on treatment. Riba Rage has hit with full force. Even though this person’s Viral Load is undetected, their side effects are definitely loud and clear. It is not always pretty.

I recently wrote a message expressing thanks to this Best Friend whose spouse is in the battle against Hepatitis C. I decided to expand and share it for all of the care-givers who valiantly do their part – day in and day out. If you have Hepatitis C, are on treatment, or living with the cirrhosis or liver disease, read this to your loved one who has helped you. For those who are caregivers, please read this as though your loved one who has the Hepatitis C Virus had written it just for you. If they were able to express their feelings, this is what they might say:

I know that you did not ask for the Hepatitis C Virus to invade our lives. We had other plans and hopes for our future. When I got the diagnosis, my hopes were put on hold. You put yours on hold too. Hang on to those hopes. Deep inside, I am still dreaming of our future.

I am sorry you are forced to live through this even though you do not have the virus. I am sorry for the burden it places on you. I see all that you are putting up with. I notice all that you do not just for me, but for the entire family. I am not able to be the support that you all need right now. Some day I will be strong again. I will make it up to you. I promise.

I see all that you do around the house. I see what needs to be done. It weighs on my mind. My body is just doing all it can to heal. Please let some of it go until I can help you. Do not try and do it all yourself. Just do what has to be done.

I know that we are paying a high cost for the medications. It is overwhelming to think about. I do not know where the money comes from. I worry about it. You do too. You have done so much to try and stretch the budget. If I seem picky when you spend money on something I do not agree with, please forgive me. You need to go buy yourself or the family something new. You should be able to splurge on pizza or a movie even though I cannot always eat it with you! I want you all to go on with your life. Have some fun. No one hates the penny pinching more than me. I would give you the world if I could.

I’m listening. Almost every thought in my head goes toward fighting off fear and pain. My mind is so distracted. The medications make it worse. I try and live a normal day. It does not work for very long before a side effect interrupts my thoughts. I cannot swat the frustrations away fast enough. It takes every ounce of energy just to keep positive thoughts. When a hopeful thought does come, it is usually because you reminded me of it. Even if I seem to ignore you or argue with you, keep saying hopeful things.

I’m selfish. It is a selfish time while I am on treatment. If all I do is sit around reading on the internet or channel surfing, please do not take it personally. I am not trying to escape from you. I am trying to escape from myself. Please forgive me and understand that if I take care of me right now, I will be here for all of us later. Wait for me.

I hear you make excuses for my bad behavior. Riba rage coupled with anxiety brings on depression. It is a bad cycle. The medications bring out the very worst in me. I may not even realize it at the time. I am trying to get out of the dark cycle. I am learning to control my anger and fear better than ever before. I will do my best to bring those lessons into the rest of my life. Do not let me turn into a tyrant. Set a limit and tell me when you have had enough. Please try and do it when we are not in the middle of a fight. I can hear you better when I am not mad.

I’m not dead yet. The Hepatitis C Virus and the damage it causes my liver is like a seed – a dead and lifeless seed. I know that from a dead seed, new life can come. A new me will come out of this. Sometimes all you can see are the weeds, but there is new life – and a new attitude – that can come from this. Like a seed planted deep in the dark soil, I am pushing toward living. I want this experience to make me better, not bitter.

I feel sorry for myself. Self pity is a pit that I fall into most days, but I cannot stand to see you pity me. I need your sympathy because I am pathetic a lot of the time. However, I need you to see my strengths. I still have them. They are just out of reach for now.  Your strength is what is holding us all together. I never dreamed you could be so strong. I’m glad that you can show your strength, even though I envy it sometimes. I will try to borrow some of your confidence til I can find my own again.

I honestly need you to ignore me some days. When I become childish and morbid, or if you see me spreading a negative cloud over our lives, send me to my room. I mean that. Keep me from casting that dark net over all of us. I do not promise to thank you for it, but I will get over it.

Tell me the truth. I am sick. I am gloomy. I am too tired to lift a finger, so I am lazy. I am depressing. Do not always try to pretend it is okay. Call it what it is. I may not like it, but I can live with the truth when it is spoken in love.

I am trying to eat healthier. It is a learning process. When you buy groceries, or suggest foods that will help me, I know you are being wise. It is hard work for you to rearrange the kitchen to suit my body’s needs. You put a lot of work into it. The extra time and money you spend are good for me, and for our whole family. I will try not to complain so much. I know you are trying to help. Just because I am sick, does not mean you have to eat the diet that helps me with Hepatitis C, treatment, or cirrhosis. We can work together on this.

I am not that smart. I always thought that I was. I am learning more every day. The truth is that I do not always know the right thing to do or say. Having the Hepatitis C Virus has shown me just how little I know. I was not prepared for this, but I can handle it. I have learned a lot through the years, and will make it my aim to use that knowledge to help us all to get past this. I may not be that smart, but I am willing to learn. I am grateful for the way you have tried to learn about the Hepatitis C Virus. I know that you have so many other things to learn about that are more interesting to you. We can learn together.

I am thankful. It may not seem like it. Honestly, it is hard to be thankful some days when so much is going wrong with my body. I am learning gratitude. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for the medications and the doctors. I am grateful for you. I have seen the best side of you since my diagnosis. You are such a strong and giving person. You amaze me.

Some day, it will get better. I will finish treatment, and get more balance in living with liver disease. I will still have to be under a doctor’s care. I will still need your help and support, but I will stand on my own two feet as much as I can. I will look back on all that you have done and are still doing. I will realize what a gift you have given me. I do not know how I can ever repay you.

I may not say it out loud, but you have helped to save my life.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Your Best Friend and Loved One with Hepatitis C, ___________

I think you may find this Youtube on Caregiving and Family helpful. Click here to be magically transported into my living room.

Do you sometimes feel like a burden on others with all your health problems?

Thank you for standing by me,
and lending an ear,
For helping me out
by just being near.

Thank you for cheering me on,
or saying a prayer.
For holding me up,
and showing you care.

Thank you for making me laugh,
and giving me hope.
For showing support,
and helping me cope.

Thank you for all that you’ve done,
and all that you’ll do.
I am so very fortunate,
to have someone like you!

By Linda Nielsen @choosehope.com

You Wonder How to Help Someone with Hepatitis C – You Help in More Ways Than You Know – ps. you have a husband with Hepatitis C (this is for you sister)

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