Dating and Hepatitis C 
Now that I have written about sex and Hepatitis C, I thought that we could share a few thoughts about dating and Hepatitis C. I do not know what order they come in for you, but most of the time dating is first. It is never easy for a single person to get back out there. Your dreams of having a lifetime love may have been shattered by a broken relationship. Dating and Hepatitis C may not seem to go together in your mind. Your priorities revolve around your health care needs. You may be planning on treatment and wonder how that will affect your personal life. How are you supposed to try and win someone’s heart when you are sick? The side effects may have left you looking like something from a horror film. I felt like the Bride of Dracula except my hair did not look as good as hers. Suffice to say, there is a lot to think about.
A side note: You may have found this blog because you are dating someone with Hepatitis C and need information. That is awesome. It takes a lot of love to date someone with HCV. But if you stand by them, you will find out that they can be the most loyal partner, friend and lover you will ever have whether they are undetectable or not. They know how to look on the bright side of life even when they are in pain. There is probably nothing you can ever go through that they will not stand beside you and offer strength and hope. That is because they have had to dig deep within themselves to find their own personal strength.
Never be afraid to love someone with Hepatitis C. They have looked death in the eye and then shoved it out of their way. They have a life to live. You can consider yourself blessed if you are invited to share it with them.
Okay. Now, with that out of the way, let’s get back to the practical aspects of dating.
Can you date during Hepatitis C Treatment? That all depends on how sick you are. I looked fairly good after a blood transfusion and had a little color in my cheeks. If you are stage 4 cirrhosis like me, you may not have the energy. I worked part time and slept the rest of the time at first. My roomie had a steady boyfriend and spent a lot of time with him. I had withdrawn from everyone, including my children. I really thought that death was coming quickly.
But as a divorced woman, I was lonely. Once I got through all of the tests and reduced my MELD score, I began to feel better. I considered trying to get treated. I would meet someone occasionally for coffee. I was a drag though. I had my pill holder and my motivational books and journals in my purse. What a nerdy date. I did not know how or when to tell someone that I had Hepatitis C.
You have to keep your radar up. There are certain stereotypes that fit when you are dating with Hepatitis C. Maybe you can check your next date up against personalities that I ran across. These traits can apply to men or women.
The Hypochondriac – Oddly enough, some people are attracted to sick people. They want to take care of you. I dated this one guy a few times and he had my transplant planned and paid for. Come to find out, he was a bit of a hypochondriac and was looking for someone to burrow down and watch television with. Gosh, he thought we should have matching pill containers. That was NOT cute. Run Karen Run! Next!
So I found a Healthy Guy. We met outside the gym. I borrowed a few pints of some healthy person’s blood during an emergency transfusion so my cheeks were aglow and energy was high. This guy ate healthy, worked out, and looked great. But it consumed his life. He talked down about people who were sick, like it was their fault. If you find yourself feeling like less of a person because you have a virus when you are with a date, get out of that fast! I never told him about my Hepatitis C Virus until several months later when he called out of the blue. If you cannot tell a potential boyfriend or girlfriend the truth? Next!
Watch out for Clingy People. This is tricky, because it can appear sweet at first. One guy loved it that I appeared fragile. He really wanted to take care of someone! Nice guy. Come to find out, he wanted to control my life. He was attractive, but his attitude was controlling. He questioned me about my choice of doctors He wanted to meet my kids after 1 date. We went on one dinner date and he had 3 glasses of wine. Uh uh. Next!
The Granola Cruncher – I never went out with this guy. My friends thought he was amazing. They were sure that because of his holistic lifestyle, he would be the one for this self-proclaimed nutritional ninja. We messaged a few times and it became apparent that he believed all doctors were trying to poison our bodies. I had enough to worry about trying to get on Interferon and Ribavirin. I was so close to dying that I had written out my funeral service directions. With an eye on the new protease inhibitors, I was marching straight toward getting rid of the Hepatitis C Virus. I wanted SVR so that my poor liver would get a break from all the inflammation. I believed that even a potentially harmful drug could save my life. It did. If I had dated Granola Cruncher, I would still be sipping smoothies with Acai Berry… or worse, I might be dead. Next!
The Religious Freak – This guy bombed me with scripture like he was my Messiah. I have one, thank you. I love Jesus. The Bible is my favorite book historically, philosophically, and spiritually. I am all about mercy and love. If your God motivates you through fear, then I do not know your God. Mine is all about love. Do not judge me. I can feel it in my bones when you do. I will love you if you are judgmental. I just do not want to spend my life or even an evening with you. Next!
This makes it look like I was a serial dater. I was not. I met a few guys for coffee and had 3 dinner dates. I refused most dinner dates because all that was on my mind was eating low sodium. I had lost so much weight that I looked anorexic.
My roomie and I spent most of our time alone on her boat or crocheting pot holders and sock hats. We played Wii when I had the energy and worked giant crossword puzzles. We had the best pedicures in town. But she had a boyfriend. I was the 3rd wheel. Dating guys from church, or other social venues made me uncomfortable. I needed those places to remain safe after diagnosis. I am good just being with me.
Some of the personalities described above may seem to fit the description of someone you are dating. Please do not cross someone off of your list based on that alone. These were the extreme sides to those individuals. You know how to use your head when choosing who to spend time with. Your own inner voice will guide you when you are quiet enough to listen. It is not always easy with dating and Hepatitis C.
My story has a happy ending. I know that yours will too. My hope is that you will take care of yourself first. If there is a special someone who can support you and be your best friend for life, you will find them. Until then, I am your Best Friend. You better run that potential date by me. Haha. I always love you, Karen:)
HOT TOPIC – Sex and Hepatitis C right HERE.
20 thoughts on “Dating and Hepatitis C”
Why isnt any people on this site?
Hi Charlie-
This is basically a website with stories and comments. It is for information and sharing your story. For a forum, you might check hepatitismag.com. Their link is on my home page at the bottom. Also, check out and friend me on fb. I can add you back and you will find a lot of people to help and chat with!
Sorry so late to respond. I messed up..
Karen:)
I have Hep C (type 1 or 1a or 1b depending on which doctor you with).
Viral Load (238,000 down to 45 down to 0) according to most recent blood work.
I take Sovaldi (400 mg) & Ribavirin (200 mg).
My biggest upset is the look on people’s faces when I tell them I have Hep C.
My thinking is only someone with Hep C and/or 0 viral count can understand
and not run from me in fear. I am raised American of Puerto Rican roots.
I am 60 or so (Baby Boomer).
When I finish my course of treatment, then I will see if I have “SVR”.
Time will tell what is going to happen.
For your listening pleasure:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAK5Ids7l5g&feature=player_detailpage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU&feature=player_detailpage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sOhqmAFH74&feature=player_detailpage
“EL DESPERADO”
Ed,
Just finished listening to the videos. I just started a youtube channel and need to figure out how to create a playlist. That was a perfectly awesome way to start the day. It is tough dating with HCV. The cool part is that you will soon be SVR. Yes, I am confident of this. 🙂 Then it will not even be necessary to talk about it. But you know, when someone is your best friend, confidant, and wants to spend time with you, none of that will matter.
A true love will someone who will share every part of you. This battle with HCV and the treatment is something that has the ability to change us in many ways. Surely you have gained so much strength and courage on this journey. It will be wonderful to have someone to share that with my friend.
Have a beautiful day and please keep in touch. I posted a youtube on Ribavirin last night before I fell asleep. Maybe you can give me feedback. I am new to this video stuff. Thank you.
xo Karen:)
I think you are a Pioneer in this area. I hope people respond to you and
what you are doing.
I could not find you on You Tube. (I am not with Facebook, don’t care
for Zukenberg).
“Brain Fog” is a good plain English way to state a medical
condition. The best way to counter that is to take your dosages of Lactulose,
Xiphaxan.
Otherwise, your body does not do what you tell it to do. I my case, that was a complete loss of sequential logical thinking along with my arms and legs “locking up” (cramping). I took “my meds” spent a long time in the bathroom and regained the use of my body. I now take “my meds” regularly.
My short attention span has stayed with me though: especially if someone is long-winded and does not get to the point.
“EL DESPERADO”
Ed,
You made me laugh w your fb comment. Sounds like you know your stuff w the meds for HE. I’m hearing you about the attention span. I keep looking and blinking and listening so hard! Oh. I needed this lol. It’s been a long day and the week before spring break. I sent my kiddos to the library for 15 minutes. Then I jumped on the site and make a Youtube page for YOU and all my readers. Check it out from the youtube drop out menu. Honest feedback is appreciated. Really.
Yes brain fog is a kinder word. That implies that moments of sunshine and clarity are possible.
xo My friend,
Karen:)
Karen,
I don’t have Hep C but im dating someone who is. Someone who is amazing and funny and all around perfect for me. They just started taking the meds for it and all shes been doing is puking and getting sharp pains in her side. I feel horriable watching her go through this because when you love someone that much you just want to take there pain away. I guess my question is, has this medication helped at all? Im so scared shes going to end up on the other side, shes giving up hope and thinking about stopping the meds because it makes her feel so sick all the time. I try to be the better person and be positive for her..but its hard when shes in so much pain because of it. The Dr. told her that its gotten worse, and if she doesn’t take the full 6 month treatment it could get worse and she could die from it. its scary for me. I don’t wanna lose her, and it sucks knowing that you don’t know for sure if that medication is going to work..ugh..i just need personal support, im not sure what I do anymore…because if this medication doesn’t work, then im sure shes gonna lose all hope and I hate saying her go through pain for nothing if it doesn’t work. I know I need my faith, and I pray for her everyday, I just want her to get better…ugh..im just so helpless…
Andrea
I hope that she is finishing up treatment. One of the things that is hard is staying with it during the rough weeks where side effects are blowing you away. I sent you a personal email and hope that you got it.
Let me tell you, it feels like you are going to die some days. You hate for others to see you like that and it is emotionally devestating. I know that you feel helpless, but just your continued presence is so valuable. Not giving up. Looking past the messy part of this day into the future is so good for you both. Remind her of the future and that it is bright. Help her picture herself whole and taking that dream trip, finishing a project, or just being free of the virus and healing.
For yourself, try not to let yourself get pulled down into it. One of you has to be up. It may be hard, but YOU will become a stronger person in the long run.
All my best to you,
xo Karen:)
To the best of my knowledge I do not have Hep C, but I don’t know where else to post my question and my google inquiry directed me to this post. I’ve been dating a woman for a few months now and things have been going really well, except for her periodically dropping contact, three times coinciding with her being in the hospital, and several times with her being violently ill for several days. Last week I didn’t hear from her and finally she called on Sunday. She informed me that she had been in the hospital all week and has now been diagnosed with Hep B and C. She has not contacted me, or returned a phone call or text since. I’ve tried to reach out to let her know I’m here for her if she wants and needs me, but I’m getting no response. I want to honor her need for space and try to understand as best I can. But I feel helpless and want to make sure she knows I’m truly am here if she needs me. Can you direct me to any resources that may speak to my situation as someone who cares about a person recently diagnosed, or direct me to resources that may help me better understand what she is going through as well as her pulling away from me. Thank you.
JJ,
I read your email and have been sending loving thoughts your way. Your heart is so sweet to reach out to her during this time. I can only imagine what you are going through. On her end, it sounds like she does not want to bother you with her illness. Many times we feel like we do not want to be a burden on anyone. We are fighting for our lives and that takes all of our mental and physical energy. Hopefully her doctor is helping her to get ready for treatment. The new drugs show promising results for HCV.
Thank you for honoring her space. But if she is feeling like she is not a great girl friend right now, maybe some reassurance is a good thing. Even sick girls like to know that someone finds them desirable. Go ahead and let her know that you are still there for her. YES she needs someone to stand by her through this. Please forgive my late response, I am hoping that you have already done this.
As far as resources for dating with Hepatitis C – follow your heart. Those who battle this virus are just like everyone else. We are looking for someone to share the ups and downs of life with us. Your steadfastness will be rewarded with a best friend and lover who is so grateful to be alive. They meet each day with joy and reward loyalty with more love than your heart can hold. Maybe you can read my blog about Caring for Someone with Hepatitis C. Go to the home page and click “Best Friends Start Here” by the checkered flag.
All my best to you. Please keep in touch.
Love love love,
Karen:)
Thank you for the kind and supportive words. I haven’t really seen her since before she told me about the diagnosis, and I haven’t spoken with her since she told me. I tried to call, and text. I got a text that she had a lot to figure out and that she was sorry for taking it out on me, so I suggested to her in a text that I would not bother her with phone calls and asked her to call when she felt up to it and had time, but that I would still text her on a somewhat regular basis she said that sounded perfect. She also said she’d keep me in the loop with what was going on. Since then I have only heard from her when she responded to a couple texts I sent.
I know she is going through a lot. I’ve read several of the posts here and have a better understanding of what she is going through. As for the treatments, she has no insurance, so I have no idea what is going on with that, nor do I have any idea how bad her liver is. All I have is hope that she will find a way to get treatment, hope that she will get through the internal struggles she is dealing with and hope that eventually she will let me once again be an active part of her life. That with a whole lot of worry of course. For my part I just wish I could be there to hold her hand while she walks down this road, and be there to hug her when she needs it, which I imagine would be a lot.
Again thank you for your response. It really helped.
You are very welcome. I hope that you have reconnected. It is a crazy time when you are getting diagnosed and finding out what all the options are. I will admit to avoiding the man I was dating and even taking a break when I had to get blood transfusions and looked a mess. I just needed to sleep!
His persistance and patience paid off for both of us. He is still here now and that is a miracle!
Love never fails,
Karen:)
I was 1st diagnosed with Hep C in 1992. I was anointed in 97 and felt like it was cured, felt like I was walking on air, literally. I had about 4 or more blood tests for liver status because of meds that were hard on the liver, they all came out with liver normal, did not know it was a specific test for Hep. In 2010 the results came as not I had but could be a carrier. Then in July this year my count was 6,667,000. That was the first time m liver was not normal. Still for all intents and purposes the only symptom I have is chronic fatigue. When my Dr sent to specialist it was determined I had type 3, the most viral. Waiting to see if drug maker will give assistance for treatment as the state coverage I have refused to pay.
Wow. You totally went years without any real problems. That in itself is a miracle. It’s too bad that the tests were not that accurate for so many years. You sound like you have done so well and I hope that continues to be the case.
Getting treated is the best option and if your doctor is willing to help you find some financial assistance, you are Blessed! The new drugs are constantly coming down the pike and more will be released next year. If you need any help with that, please check out Alan Franciscus site hcvadvocate or hepmag. They are both great resources for getting meds paid for. ok?
Let me know if you need anything and I”ll be glad to help. I’m glad you found out before your liver disease got too advanced. You have a bright future. Yes!
xo Karen:)
I’m finding that my children are not there for me. They never ask how I’m doing. I’ve had to resort to letting my son help with bills and such. I’ve never been one to depend on my kids are ask for help. Now that I’m sick I had to rely on any kind of help. I already did treatment it didn’t work. Now after all kind of test I’m waiting to hear from my doctor to start the new treatment. The first treatment my son hired his wife’s friend who is a rn. Worse nightmare ever. She had everyone convinced that I really was going nuts and I was hook on pain pills. She not only that but she was getting all of my meds and I never knew I had any pain meds and other horrible things. Trust is hard for me. I threw her mississippl butt out got everything together and had to prove to my family that I wasn’t hooked. It’s been true hell for me. I really felt alone when the last time I had to name a person in case of emergency I left it blank. My son had a horrible accident off shore and has been in a wheelchair for eight y ears and his wife is so jealous of our relationship. I try not to put him in the middle and my daughter just doesn’t care. I stayed in touch with a guy for over a year talked every day about everything he had a stroke. Things started to go bad when everything was about him and his health. I was already ready to cut it off and then I got a text at four am but it wasn’t for me the fool texted the wrong person and had the nerve to tell me that I was in the wrong for thinking he was doing anything wrong. But some how with gods help I’ll hang to do the new,treatment. But I do have a question I hope someone could help my stomach looks like I’m about five months pregnant. I’m on just about everything noone seems to worry about it I do. I’ve lost so much weight and my skin looks like a snake and I have this big stomach. I sure look better with cloths on. Please help.
You are one strong lady Myra. I know that many of us can identify with a lot of what you said. The trust issue is a big part of it. My daughter is an only child and my main caregiver, but when she gets tired, she turns to my sisters. They’re awesome, but they can get confused about some of my behavior and quickly blame hepatitic encephalopahty or something else for just my human behavior. It sucks not being able to make you own decisions and have independence. I could go on… 🙂
As far as dating, It’s tough also. I DID meet a great guy and we married when I finished treatment. He’s my best friend in this and I really trust him to be on my side. I just don’t allow him in on a lot of my physical stuff. Maybe because we’re newlyweds still? (2 yrs) That has the added pressure of trying to be on top of my game. Maybe that’s good for me because I can’t slack off too much on diet, nutrition, and exercise.
Ok. The swelling belly can be ascites. For that, a doc can diagnose and maybe give a diuretic? If it’s not fluid build up, maybe it’s just soft muscles? I haven’t found a good ab workout yet that doesn’t aggravate my neck. I’ve got one of those exercise balls and use it. I also try to use good posture combined with “flexing” my abdominal muscles.
Have you considered that it may be your diet? I know that certain foods cause me to swell a bit more and it’s just gas and bloating that is temporary. I put a lot of fresh greens and bananas in my protein shake and it can cause swelling due to the fiber. I hope this helps.
Use some olive oil on that skin and stay hydrated. You’ve been through a lot and deserve to feel good about yourself and find someone to share your life with. I hate some parts of the datimg game because it takes a while to weed out the people who aren’t sincere or mature enough to stick with you through the hard times. Be the best YOU and you will attract the right person. I believe it. Much love sweetie. xoxo Karen:)
Thank you so much for answering me back. I will take your advice. I really need to change my diet to.
You deserve to feel good and get the love you need. Keep watching for the next blessings sweetie. xoKaren
I just started seeing this guy. And he’s so far amazing in every way. He told me he has hep c. He doesn’t take medication for it as far as I know but he said if him and I were to ever have sex, I would be okay. I’m young, I’ll be 20 in 3 months. So no I’m not very sure how any of this works. And I’d much rather have the truth than put myself at risk. But I don’t want to run away from him just because of that. So if I can get any advice it would be much appreciated.
Hi there! Good thing to check. He must be a pretty nice guy to tell you. HCV can only be transmitted through blood which means he would have to bleed and you would have to have a cut.. Sexual transmission is very rare, the only way I have heard of it being transmitted is with rough sex. I know many married couples where one has the virus and the other has never caught it. Saying all that he should be treated for his HCV. There are new medications out there that are much easier to use us than in the past and of a much shorter duration.
Good luck to you both, Dee
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