Writing a Thank You Letter to Donor Family
Writing a thank you letter to donor family was on my mind, even while I was still in the hospital, weak but, getting stronger. After my transplant, I thought of them constantly. The life they were living was a sharp contrast to mine. I was happy to be alive; they were dealing with loss. I began writing a thank you letter to donor family within 2 weeks. As an English teacher, I thought it would be easy. Wrong. My inner critic found fault with every draft. I knew if it were difficult for me, it might be for others too. If you are looking to express your gratitude to a donor family, the sample letter below can be a useful guide.
Since you’re dealing with some stress after transplant, scribble a “free writing” letter to get started. Pour your heart out, and don’t edit anything. No stumbling over spelling. No punctuation pickiness. No writing worries at all. Just say what you need to say in the way only YOU can say it. It can be handwritten, or typed into a computer. Either way, you can go back and clean it up later.
Getting Started
Start by introducing yourself. Then tell the purpose of the letter. Close with thank you will sooth their hearts. I apologized for my messy emotions and lack of words. It’s a deeply personal topic, and is NOT easy to write about. Let your donor family know that if you want to. Even though you don’t know them, you are connected for life. Just be who you are and they will see gratitude in your words.
If you feel sadness for the family, let them know. They will appreciate the fact that although you are rejoicing that your life was saved, you are grieving with them. You can empathize with them while thanking them for what they have given you. Even though you no longer have your disease, you were sick for a long time. You have had your grieving time as well.
Many people don’t want to say the wrong thing. For some, the emotions are strong, and they start the letter, and then take a break. Don’t worry about penmanship or spelling. Take your time.
Here are some example paragraphs to get started. Change this up to fit your situation, and make it your own. I trust that you will not just copy it word for word. Fill in the parenthesis with your own words as you weave your story.
Writing a Thank You Letter to Donor Family Sample
Dear Family,
I am writing to thank you for your generosity in giving life through your loved one’s organ donation. It is hard for me to write this because my heart is very full. I know that yours is too. My name is (first name only) and I received (organ). I want you to know how much your decision has changed my life.
My health problems have lasted for (number of years). I have been unable to (walk far, eat well, think, exercise, work). For the last few months I have (been in bed, in ICU, commuting to hospital, etc.) The doctors have worked hard to keep me alive. (share some experiences with medications, procedures like bandings, TIPS, chemo, TACE, etc.) My whole life has been focused on getting better. I have waited to get a new (organ) so that I could have a second chance at life. You have given me more than I could ever hope for. I will always take good care of this gift as my way of saying thank you.
My favorite things to do are (reading, sports, chess, video games.. list some). I have always enjoyed (walking, jogging, nature, astronomy, gardening, volunteer work…list more). Since I got sick, I have not been able to (ride a bike, motorcycle, drive, cook…name something). I always enjoyed working at (name some work you enjoy) and look forward to the day when I can return to doing something in that field again.
My passion in life is (tell them!) I have worked with (music, crafts, church, kids, choir, band). I hope it beings some comfort to you knowing how your loved one’s life will be entwined with mine. I would love to know more about your loved one when you are ready to talk about it. I understand your need for privacy, and respect that you need time to heal.
My doctor says that (give a report) and I am (getting stronger, still struggling, slowly healing). I am taking medications for (name some) and it is working.
None of this would have been possible without the generous gift from your loved one. I think of you with thankfulness every day. You will always be in my prayers and thoughts. I wish you healing for your family and hope that some day we can communicate. It may be hard for you to read this letter. It was hard for me to write it, but I wanted to express my heartfelt gratitude to your whole family. Your decision changed my life.
Sincerely,
Be at Peace
Part of my motive in writing this is help you give thanks for your own sake. Coming close to death helps us to realize that we should not hold our feelings back, but express them while we can to help bring peace of mind. Another motive was to bless the family and/or person who made that decision to donate. Many of you know that I had 2 trips to the hospital where I did NOT get the organ. I had my second procedure to reduce the tumor to keep cancer at bay. Time was precious. I’ve since connected with my donor family and tell about it, because they are the reason I am alive today.
Perfection is not your goal
I wrote a rough 1st draft. Then I wrote a few more. I thought about if I were getting the letter. My final letter is a mish mash of the whole thing.
In Oklahoma, we send a letter with first name only and no personal information to Life Share. They forward it to the family. I cried while sealing the envelope, and admit to having hopes of meeting them. I just feel so close in heart to the whole family. It may be too fresh now. Maybe as times goes on I will hear something. If you have super strong emotions, you are not alone. I’ve been there.
UPDATE: My donor family contacted me and we text and stay in touch. I’ve written about it here, and have been to his grave.
My heart is with you as you begin writing a thank you letter to donor family. My friend recently helped her family make the decision to donate her nephew’s organs. They can’t wait to hear from the recipients whose lives were saved.
Let me know if you need any help. You can email me personally and I will try and get back to you as soon as possible. Take care of yourself post transplant with some good self care ideas here.
Much much love, Karen:)
18 thoughts on “Writing a Thank You Letter to Donor Family”
Very nice advice. Nice of you to put it forward.Bravo.!!
Why thank you! It is so nice of you to take the time to write. It is a great thank you note, I was really touched when I read it Dee
I haven’t yet been to the point of transplant and hope I won’t need to anytime soon. However, I know if and when that time arrives where to turn for help in writing a grateful letter. God bless you Karen. You continue to amaze me with your kind heart. Thank you!
Hay Buddy! So glad to see your comment. I’m not in the forums. Busy healing! I remember when the thought of a transplant terrified me… Shucks… We got this.
Have a great summer!
xo Karen:)
As always Karen, a WONDERFUL article! I know that it will help many people that struggle with how to express themselves post transplant. God Bless You for sharing this difficult topic and letter with others. There was a reason you got your wonderful gift of life. “We” definitely need you here, helping as many people with liver disease and hep C as possible. I hope that you are doing well. You continue to do excellent articles for those of us that need them. THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Always good to see you Sweet Pam. xo Karen:)
Dear Karen, beautifully written. Thanks so much for sharing another part of your beautiful soul. You are so wonderful. You help me to be optimistic when I am feeling down. You amaze me with your positive attitude. You lift me up and inspire me. Thank you my friend, Love D
Dee Ernst recently posted…Writing a Thank You Letter to Donor Family
Dee,
You’re a life saver and the only person I would have trusted with my readers during this time. My brain energy and physical.. is limited and doted out in small increments. I can’t wait till we meet some day!
In the meantime. Thank you for loving the readers. We make a great team sister.
xo Karen:)
Awww…Karen thank you so much. I do understand that you have to reserve your energy, save it up and use it for priorities. I am sure everyone on here understands. It has only been about 9 weeks since surgery. Take care my bestie, love Dee
I am weeping with gratitude for your life, and for your donor’s short one.
Lucinda Porter recently posted…Hepatitis C: Saving Baby Boomers
Hay Sweet Friend,
I love the title on your latest blog…. Saving Baby Boomers. Your tremendous heart and writing efforts have busted the door down on Hepatitis Literacy. So many are able to get education now thanks to you and others that you work with.
I love you more.. xoxo Karen:)
can you help one of another person his lever has been damaged please help him… please help to provide some money to him…. Thanks in advance
It’s good way to learn how to write a well thank you letter for anyone. Sometimes, you have a lot of ideas in your head but don’t know how to write it out.
Alize Camp recently posted…New LG Minibeam Nano Micro Projector Model PV150G
I agree with you. I do what Karen does, just free write my letters to get in all my points and then go back and refine it.
It is much easier to do this typing it on the laptop than it ever was actually handwriting. I am so grateful to Karen for sharing this information. I think it will help many
Thank you so much for helping me get what I am feeling inside down on paper. This is a very personal and extremely hard thing to put down n paper with out writing a novel. I didn’t know where or how to start. Thank you for you guidance. this blog has probably helped more people than you will ever know.
Oh thank you so much! Your words are so touching. I am humbled to think that I may be helping others as I have been helped.
Karen, I must say that the sample letter certainly give me great pointers to compose my thank you letter to my doner. It took me a few attempts before reaching any where near the final draft, I now feel confident to send it. Your help was much appreciated.
Hey there! First congratulations for your transplant. I’m happy to hear and I know Karen will be happy to hear that she helped you.
It’s so nice when someone can help us think of the words we want to use to express ourselves. Take Care! Dee
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